I feel like I tend to get excited and impatient especially when writing my blog...sometimes. I have ideas and I feel like I'm rushing to get them out and then in the middle of them I get so hyped that I end up skipping over details that were of key importance when I first viewed them in my minds space. I feel that I could benefit from the putting some focus into embodying the grace of balance, of concentration, of taking the time to be even more thoughtful within my movements both physically and within the metaphysical attributes. To learn to put this into daily practice.
Perhaps I can practice this by putting more effort into detail? Oh yes, I remember this line of thinking from when I became interested in the Mandala, the art of an unfolding interweaving design connected by a unified center. I feel that myself is begging for me to find my way within this idea as it applies to the unfolding of my life. There is so much going on within me, so many emotions felt simultaneously, so many dreams in active within my lives and so much more to be discovered. I find myself at once all of content, of pain and sadness, and of bliss. The axis of my core perceives all of these things as I feel them not one by way or one or another at intervals but yes, as I said, simultaneously even as they seem to be conflicting. Reality is Chaos, but Chaos can also be within balance. This, I firmly believe.
Frustration befalls me, dew springs from my heart through the passage of my eyes that peer upon my world and wonders...What is going on with me? What am I doing with myself? With so many ways to go and so many things I want to do and even with all that I've perhaps "figured out" I still...feel called into...something. It could be the feeling of of wanting to ground these understandings, to put them into practical use within my life. I have this feeling of...not knowing how to do...something...something that is important to me...
Another thing, actually I remember that I wanted to mention is that I notice myself being drawn to religious or disciplinary practices. I recently watched Life of Pi (which is an AMAZING movie by the way, highly reccomended) and this desire was sparked in watching what I suppose is an Indian form of praise dancing? Perhaps sacred dance? I'm not certain of it's name and will have to look it up but it also reminds me of the video which I posted firsthand at the beginning of this blog. It is, in basis, the art of emulating nature to express it's beauty through bodily movement. In the movie the dance instructor at one time speaks sternly to the dancers stressing that they must concentrate to fully express thier love of God...this very much so intrigued me, plucking at a tone on my heart string. As I have spoken a bit about before my perception of God is that it is is Energy, the source of all creation in that energy is all that exists and therefore God is the universe and is expressed within all things as we are created of it. Therefore I think of expressing the love of God as expressing my love for the sacredness of all things within existence, to express the love of the living patterns that make the art of all things...There is an intensely euphoric feeling in this act and in feeling my connection to this; it is a feeling of...serenity, of...divinity that fills my being with an essence of beauty that is for me at this time impossible to describe, the words aforementioned in detail of it being the closest thing to it that I can imagine. It is this level of beauty that I have sought to embody all my life. This beauty that I so love..."Love", and what does that mean to me? After many long years of observation and contemplation I have surmised this: Love is the feeling of acceptance and embracing in wholeness that which one is connected to. Just as I love my lover because we have chosen to accept each other and embrace our relationship through the turning of our lives, through the sunshines and storms of cycling existence. One can now imagine what I mean by Unconditional love, as I have mentioned before. This meaning I have also sought for the truth of all my life, now here, has been satisfied.
Wow...the articulation of this feels amazing.
I am feeling that this post has reached it's comma until a later time. I feel...satisfied with this :) I remember now, there's nothing like a good session of just letting your thoughts flow.You never know where you're gonna end up when you start writing but, you start somewhere and take your time with patience, you listen to what you feel let the words come in, you look over it all and perhaps make some edits and new editions so that when you get to the end and, find yourself exactly where you wanted to be in the way you wanted to be it. Such as it is in life.It always fills me with bliss to sort out my feelings and paint them with appropriate coloring. A poem is on it's way also for anyone that wants to tune into that next post. Again, thank you, for sharing this moment with me. Namaste Inlakech <3
No comments:
Post a Comment