Alright so here's a pretty significant leap I've made so far in opening up, embracing myself and unveiling my true nature...
Chilling with friends....Naked O.o YES! Completely nude just playin card games, rock band, drinking the spirits and having a good time! It was about 8 of us, 4 girls 4 guys even and it all started when we were playing drinking games. one of my friends who had to drive home then decided that he was just gonna play for clothes instead of shots and so...needless to say he was the first baring all. After that it rather started this chain reaction of clothes coming off XD The guys were all free about it but you know...us girls and our modesty. Though honestly...I wanted to be naked. I sat there in a bikini top and a skirt for a while, talking about my other friends who wouldnt even take thier tops off when my Beloved shoots me one of his challenging jeers "Kurai, you're talking alot of shit through alot of cotton." Naturally, my mouth shot open wide with offense. He goes on to say "All I'm sayin is that's too much talk while you're being half an example."
My lips pursed in silent retaliation. I had rationalized that I wasn't taken off anything else until someone started showing off some skin with me! I mean girl power you know? Right? Be with me! But...I couldn't deny...that he was right. In truth, I had hardly taken off anything. The bikini top and skirt is kind of an everyday thing for me as I dont like wearing much clothing if I dont have to. So...after some time of consideration and a serious FUCK IT moment, I took it all off. The top, the bottoms... I decided that If I wanted to bring out anything in anyone else I must first embody it myself! (No pun intended). If I wanted to really set an example should really go for it. No shame, no holding back ; and so there it was, out there, me, Young human female body in the RAW! When Everyone noticed there were gasps and laughs and welcoming into team naked :)
Now, you might think that one would need to be eased into this new level of being revealed after living in a world where its not exactly normal to chill with your friends naked and your not in a nudist colony right? But, oddly, I felt no apprehension about it whatsoever. One could ask themselves if it was the alchohal but...baring all honesty...I'd be all for it again anytime. It was such a freeing experience, just being all naturally out there what would usually be hidden of me, just hanging out comfortably with my friends. I painted my nails :D we joked around...then one by one the other girls decided to take it have way and bare chests. And yes...we touched each others breasts XD Actually everyone touched like everyone in some way at some point though, and this may be surprising but, this story does not end up in a hot and steamy orgy. Nope. Just wholesome naked friendly fun.
It was amazing. I felt natural and wonderful and sweet. I draped my netted scarf over me and rubbed my friends back and played in their hair and all I could think about was how we were all such beautiful Gods and Goddesses lounging about each other. It was simply wonderful.
(On a related note here is an article that made its way to my news feed on facebook about the health benefits of being Naked :) http://immortallife.info/articles/entry/nudity-provides-health-benefits-for-your-body-and-brain)
Now uhm, lets see...whaaaat else...ah! This is profound time.*Shakes head slowly* I shall make this transition by introducing a poem. <3
Tears of Phoenix
The dew of the expanding reservoir
overfills at morning light
and streams as the life force
rising from the inner well
to the heaven of minds sight
falling from the gates
into the physical world
ashes wash away as they
cross the scorching shores
the remains of needs lost
of patterns transformed
The cycle of my living and dying continues. As I reach deeper into myself, observing, accepting, remembering what I believe in and who I am, I can see myself being pulled from the overbearing darkness of tension and fear, of apprehension and resistance. The light of me is filled with love, understanding and acceptance. I wish this blessing upon others, and I uphold it within myself. I realized that I can choose to not lose myself in sadness, in fear, in judgment. I feel these things at times yes, I have the thoughts cross the vision of my mind but they are not me. I have a choice as to what I hold within me and what I let effect me. It is true that it can be hard to maintain ones joy in the world as we live in today, amongst the frustration that tends to come with finding ourselves and dealing with inner drama let alone the mundane and the tension that can arise between the interactions of the people around us. Yes, its hard...but, I want to be an example. No...better yet...I want to be an inspiration, much like the whole thing with me baring all before my friends. If I can hope for anyone to see past all the negative that challenges us on this wheel of life and learn to live in the positive with, if not love, at least understanding and acceptance then I will uphold this to the best of my ability.My heart is strong, it had led me through the searing heartaches of my own life to this blessed place of consciousness in which I dwell today and embrace ever deeper with each moment and so, I believe in that strength.
Just yesterday I had a friend visit that I haven't seen for quite some time. We had a very emotional talk, the details of which I hold personally. This talk made me realize alot...among these realizations this: It's so easy to judge people by how they appear, even by what they project. In protecting ourselves and not wanting to be fooled and taken advantage of we've become so quick to judge and fight every thing that seems to be wrong, unfair, senseless in thier actions. Not to say that one should just allow everything but...to resist to the point of distancing ones self so much that there is no room for expressing compassion? for considering the plight of another? So much as to lose respect for all the SHIT they've made it through as best they could just like we all have? When people fall short in your eyes...it's because you feel like you're above them whether you want to admit it or not. As one who views all as equals you find the reasonable boundaries without pushing feelings of empathy to the way side and viewing everything from the guideline of JUST your feelings and how how it just affects/effects YOU.
We're all here in this wheel of life you know? We all have our myriad of expression and ways of beings. Acceptance is about looking at whats real, that we're all individuals with individual experiences and trials of pain and moments of flaw. We all have our skills and our quirks. Hardly anything is "normal" you know? There is much more to be experienced than what is expected and theres nothing to be done about that. everythings not always gonna be how we imagine or want it, everyone is not going to conform to our views or grow as fast or in the way we want. And thats just fucking okay. I'm using really strong language because GODDAMMIT thats how I feel like expressing myself in this moment and THATS OKAY!
Some key themes for myself this weak have been:
- Standing in my own beliefs
- Embodying in full what I believe
- Accepting the truth of myself and others
- Embracing my experience of life to the fullest
- Healing old wounds
- Releasing disharmonious habits
I feel like there was so much more to write but...perhaps this is enough for now :) Basically I'm just living me.I look forward to coming back with more poetries and hopefully better articulations of my profound journey of self as I observe the world! (Yeah, I'm really nerding it up over here, go ahead and laugh...seriously...get a good one going or at least a smile :D XD)
As a proper ending I'd like to leave this video that was shared to me that I really resonate with. Its starts out by painting the picture of 3 fish in the sea, an old fish swims by and says "Morning boys, enjoy the water?" and when he leaves, one kid looks at the other and says "What the Hell is water?" The theme of it really ties into what I was talking about when it comes to getting frustrated in every day life and how it can be so easy to judge people when we dont think about what thier lives are like and what they have to deal with . Its about awareness...how some of the most important things that drive our existence are the hardest to see even though their right in front of our faces, even though we swim in it every day.
I hope you'll check it out and enjoy. In any case, love and blessings. Sincerely yours <3
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