For the last two nights I have had dreams about drawing patterns with God in an undefined space. It makes me feel AWSOME >w< My relationship with my Creator has always been very important to me. When I was younger, being raised in a family that believes in Church it led me to trying my hardest to be devout to Christianity though, organized religion never fit right with me. I researched alot of religions and God is referred to by many names. I rather like the name God, though also Creator and Source which I use interchangeably.
It brings me great joy to think about my relationship with my Creator and I have longed to express my feelings about this to others though I have hesitated in doing so for quite the longtime because I didn't wish to seem like some religious nut or new age love freak or something lol these judgments I do not hold on anyone nor do I worry of them being placed on myself any longer. I have felt for quite a while the burning desire to connect with and know the Source of me. In recent days I have found great joy in this journey and my dreams of working with God and making art bring me the utmost of elation!
I wonder among the people I know if anyone else feels things like this and just don't mention them for fear of bringing up the controversy related to sensitive topics like religion. Perhaps I will simply ask them, soon enough :) Just out of curiosity of what they think of course. I have no concrete vision of what should be thought about God or how ones relationship with God should be expressed or anything like that.
What do I feel about God? Well...here is what I have always believed beyond anything I've been taught. I have always felt that God is unconditionally loving. I pictured him as my father (in my youth feeling very connected to the dark I pictured him as darkness and the night), an ever present energy that would embrace me with understanding, guiding whispers and comfort whenever I needed him. the wind was like his arms around me and the moon and stars like twinkling eyes, reminders of him ("him" I use simply for reference for I don't believe that God has any sex beyond how one might perceive him). I always felt that I perceived God through my heart because my heart seemed to be the guiding force of me, physically giving me life and metaphysically holding me strong through all my dark days. Even when I wanted to give up my heart and my father were always there for me, willing me to write or create rather than fall and so art has always been my savior.
I feel that my want to uphold ideas like integrity, honor, balance, justice, patience, unconditional love, kinship, wisdom, and beauty are inspirations that derive from my Creator and thus he too must be of these things or at least wanting of them to exist. These have been great driving forces of my life for which I am wholly grateful.
I cherish all beings and art and life and everything that is has to do with to the point that I am almost constantly at the brink of tears in my reverence of it all. I love my Creator, I love my life, I love my friends, I love the universe and all within it!
This is my extra gay moment for today...To go on much further I'm afraid I'd just start repeating myself and be rambling about how much I love God and everything and everyone cause this is the wave I'm on right now lol So...I'll stop writing for now.
Love and blessings to all. Thanks for reading, If you were here, I'd hug you out of appreciation for sharing this moment with me <3
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