Plea for Delivery

It comes down to something very simple.
Something that I have always known.
I've strayed so far from that place it seems
though I know my straying is an illusion
I have always been here, even when my claims
state otherwise. I have only been fighting myself
Struggling between the truth and the lies

I don't want to get caught up, my fear is believing
the wrong side, but in my experience of life
I cannot shy away from what is mine
The way my feet wish to tread and where
my hands seek to grasp I lay unsteady here
on the cusp of understanding

They say that the ways of the heart are
not dependent of reason, in many ways this anthem
tones with freedom. To cut the tension of bondage
on my being, is it okay to to dance in this season?
To embrace a way of opening myself and letting
my feelings for all seep out, to embrace love in its
unconditional form, a part of me that is all but
forgotten

Can I birth myself from uncertainty and break
through these restrictive layers? The fear of change,
of a bleeding heart being taken advantage of again
Perhaps I can wrap my understanding around my
own strength and pick myself up from hopeless
debts, paying forward to what seems safe and
cautious and acknowledge my heart as a competent
compass

What is is it that I truly believe in? I ask of myself,
where is your courage? I don't expect to find myself
here, locked away in this cage of consternation
drowning in questions and rationalizations, whining and
wanting for someone to help me when all along this
song is playing

Ringing, ringing immersed in my concience
On this day I am for whom the bell tolls
The bell tolls for me, calling me home, its resonance
has resounded so long and I have been here
listening all along, waiting for myself to confirm
the note

Shall I lay my cares by the wayside? Toss myself
into this ocean of time...I've trusted the universe with
my life and verily it withstands that it has done me
no wrong, so why not? Why not let myself go? Fall
into giant hands and find my freedom

May my sentiments be my own, that of my
ceaseless knowing soul, from this point carrying
on, I beg of thee, Self, end this needless throe
Deliver me forth upon my shores

That which I am, evermore